but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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