If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
