Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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