So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
