I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
