After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Duck Duck Cougar?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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