Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
