Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
