Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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