Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
