will power is for people who don't want to get laid
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
