his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
