sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
