it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
