I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
