What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
