I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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