dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
