i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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