he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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