im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
