If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
