On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
