ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
