You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
false alarm, still single
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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