You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize