you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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