yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
