Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
