Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
