I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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