strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize