I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize