Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
