I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
