I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
