Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
