I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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