I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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