I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
