The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
