i used baking grease as lip gloss
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize