Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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