I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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