So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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