Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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