you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize