Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize