I wanna bring you to show and tell
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
