never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We got so high we made milksteak
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
