And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
