Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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