I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
