so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
