Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
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