Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My pussy is not your playground.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
