Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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