Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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