Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize