i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
