I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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