Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
