A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
