Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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