cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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