Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Im part way to drunk.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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