dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
