The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
